Me
Current Wishes
* Laura
* Born = 01/11/64
* Mom
* Graduate
:: "Enough money to make life easy on my kids, if even just for a while"::
:: "Just one weekend...never mind, you know"::
:: "Time, time and more time"::
:: "A really great vacation for my whole family"::
:: "To finish school and make bunches of money before arthritis creeps into my hands and makes my life hell"
Current Favorite Quotes and
the Wise People that Said Them
:: "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor
of the idea that life is serious." - Brendan Gill::
:: "You're never too old to become younger." - Mae West
:: "Always be nice to your children because they are
the ones who will choose your rest home." - Phyllis Diller::
:: "D'you call life a bad job? Never! We've had our ups and downs,
we've had our struggles, we've always been poor, but it's been
worth it, ay, worth it a hundred times I say when I look round
at my children." - W. Somerset Maugham, 'Of Human Bondage'::
:: "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."- Judy Garland::
Friday, February 22, 2008
It's hard to curl up with a pillow and feel warm and protected. I am normally very self sufficient. I just sometimes find it very hard to sleep alone. Pillows don't hold you back. They can't tell you it is all going to be okay. They won't be happy to laugh with you over the thought of a good day. They will however let you cry on their shoulder. They just won't offer you a kleenex when you're through.
Never mind, you know.
******************************************************************************
Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight - James Taylor
do me wrong, do me right
tell me lies but hold me tight
save your goodbyes for the morning light
but don't let me be lonely tonight
say goodbye and say hello
sure enough good to see you but it's time to go
don't say yes but please don't say no
I don't want to be lonely tonight
go away then damn you, go on and do as you please
you ain't gonna see me getting down on my knees
you're undecided and your heart's been divided
you've been turning my world up side down
so do me wrong do me right right now baby
go on and tell me lies but hold me tight
save your goodbyes for the morning light, morning light
but don't let me be lonely tonight
I don't won't to be lonely tonight
no, no I don't want to be lonely tonight
I don't want to be lonely tonight
Mom out
@ |12:11 AM|
I recently rediscovered a poem that I had written a long time ago...
I hope you enjoy it. 5434
***************************************************** Angel Dreams
No one but you knows this place in my mind
Where time moves much too quickly, yet stands still
You are the only one who has seen it
No one but you can see who I am
Looking into my eyes, you see my soul
The me that the rest of the world forgot about
long ago
Is so easy for you to find
No one but you can make me forget
the right and the wrong of it all
Only the here and now seem to matter
For the moment, the what ifs and whys are forgotten
No one but you can make me shiver
with one...light...touch
Never daring to touch but drawn instinctively close
Something stronger than I at work
No one but you holds this place in my heart
Softness and satin, yet fire and heat
No one but you, No one but you*****************************************************"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."- Judy Garland
Mom out
@ |2:34 PM|
AS I MATURE
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
I've learned it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that you better have lots of money, huge boobs or a big willy.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. They are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep vomiting, long after you think you've finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is, the passion fades and there better be a great friendship or lots of money to take its place.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that the people that mean the most to you are taken from this world too soon and the less important ones just never seem to go away.
**********************************************************************
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
You're never to old to become younger. - Mae West
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. - Michael Pritchard
To get back my youth, I would do anything in the world, except exercise, eat right, get up early or be respectable. - Oscar Wilde
Mom out
@ |12:28 AM|
We are two loving friends, and two friendly lovers,
Making our way along this pathway called life.
Arm in arm when one of us needs steadying,
and hand in hand when it's just nice to know
the other is there.
When we are together, life is exactly as I want it to be...
warm, safe, satisfying and passionate.
And when we are apart, we carry each other in our hearts
Our lives may not be extraordinary, but our love is,
because we complete each other.
********************************************************************************
Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance. -Oprah Winfrey
Mom out
@ |11:49 PM|
So, Ralph, my very dear, wonderful friend, this is for you. You asked me to write it down so you could say it the way I would, here it is. Take my advice with a grain of salt if you wish. I give it with love because it is not my place to be there to help.
Tell her you love her. Tell her she means more to you than any woman before and any woman that will ever come along again. Tell her that everything you do and feel for and about her is because your heart only wants her to be happy. Tell her that if this is what truly, in her heart and soul makes her complete and happy, then you are happy for her. Tell her that even though you are glad she is happy, you don't have to agree with or like her decision. Remind her that you taught her right from wrong and that you have to believe in the job you did as a parent and believe that she will pick what is right. Remind her to think VERY thoroughly about her actions because they will FOREVER be life altering. Tell her that she is an adult making an adult decision and that you hope with all your heart she is ready for all the consequences that come with what the world can dish out. Finally, kiss her on the forehead and again tell her that you love her and want her to be happy. Then leave it alone. TELL her all these things, don't assume that she already knows.
She might go through with things. She might not. You however can not change her feelings or her actions. You can only change the way you react to them. If you are angry and full of contentment, she will only run away from the closeness that you have and the decision that you WANT her to make.
You are a wonderful, caring, loving father. She is very lucky to have you in her life and in her heart she knows it. She will make her own mistakes, just as you did. She will pay for her own mistakes, just as you did. It is what it is. You can't change this one.
Ralph, this too shall pass.****************************************The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears. - Ellen GoodmanThis is part of the essence of parenthood, watching your kid grow into her own person and not being able to do anything about it. Otherwise children would be nothing more than pets.- Heather ArmstrongRaising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.- Ed AsnerWe cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.- Franklin D. Roosevelt
Mom out
@ |11:31 PM|
I graduated school on December 16. Took forever to get the dates to take my board exam. Finally got that date, it is March 14th. After that, I have to have a background check and fingerprinting done, send it all down to the state to get a business license, and THEN I get to start practicing. Lots of red tape, I really have to make this work. I have been waiting a long time to do something that really makes a difference for my kids. Like my clinician at school said, "You are MORE than intelligent and talented enough to make this career work, but remember the sales and business end of it. A B C! Alway Be Closing!"
I really hate sleeping alone. Not that I have an urge to just sleep around. Far from it. I have what alot of people want in their lives. I just really hate crawling into a cold bed at night without another warm person to lie next to and chuckle with at the end of the day.
I miss you. I miss the feel of you, the smell of you and at the moment would very much love to have you hold me until I drift off to sleep. 5434
Mom out
@ |11:00 PM|
Nuff Said!! 
Mom out
@ |11:33 AM|
This is the beginning of my FINAL finals week at school. I am very excited. In a weird way however... I am also kind of sad. I have had a great year at National. I have made some new friends. I kind of hate to see it end. At the same time... I am SOOOOOOO ready to have it end!!
The money thing still isn't great here at the house... but I think we are going to be okay. We have worked something out with the mortgage company. Christmas will be kind of thin here, but hey... what the hell else is new... ha ha.
That is about all. I will post again sometime after finals week. Keep me in your positive thoughts this week.
Mom out
@ |11:20 AM|