Me
Current Wishes
* Laura
* Born = 01/11/64
* Mom
* Graduate
:: "Enough money to make life easy on my kids, if even just for a while"::
:: "Just one weekend...never mind, you know"::
:: "Time, time and more time"::
:: "A really great vacation for my whole family"::
:: "To finish school and make bunches of money before arthritis creeps into my hands and makes my life hell"
Current Favorite Quotes and
the Wise People that Said Them
:: "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor
of the idea that life is serious." - Brendan Gill::
:: "You're never too old to become younger." - Mae West
:: "Always be nice to your children because they are
the ones who will choose your rest home." - Phyllis Diller::
:: "D'you call life a bad job? Never! We've had our ups and downs,
we've had our struggles, we've always been poor, but it's been
worth it, ay, worth it a hundred times I say when I look round
at my children." - W. Somerset Maugham, 'Of Human Bondage'::
:: "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."- Judy Garland::
Sunday, June 13, 2004
I work incredibly hard at not invading anyones privacy. I do feel however that if things are posted on the internet, they are pretty much free game for me as they are for anyone else in the fucking world. If any of you would rather not have me read your blogs, just ask me and I won't. I promise this to all of you, daughters especially.
Sometimes it really kinda sucks to be a mom. It is not a job for wimps. For the most part it is totally thankless. It is emotionally, mentally and financially draining. It is never a pick up and go job. It is with you 24/7. For a good mom, it is with you for the rest of your life. You never get to quit. You never get to have a day off. You never have a vacation. You constantly feel used. You are most of the time at emotional upheavals that only other moms understand. You give up a huge portion of your life only to realize that the people you give it up for, for the most part, think you are an emotional blubbering idiot. This being completely ironic because you were never this emotional and never blubbered until you had them and your hormones whacked out and the chemical imbalances began.
I plan on using this as a forum to air my shit and let the people in my life know how I feel, good and bad. If not wanting to know or not caring whether or not I do this is in your realm of thought. Log the fuck off. I don't need you to read it because you don't really give a shit to begin with.
Melissa, so your blog is titled "The mostly boring life of......etc" I have very few comments on yours except to say,WIT ALL DUE RESPECT, if your life is boring honey, get the fuck up off the couch. If you make no effort to do things, spend a great portion of your day in front of the television or on the computer, use the extremely poor time management skills that I have taught you, and let laziness take control of your every waking free minute. It will be boring. Life does not come to you. If you want something to happen, whatever that something is, it will probably not happen while you have a remote or a mouse in your hand. I DONT MEAN DAT IN A BAD WAY.
Nicole, it absolutely kills me inside that you hurt the way that you do and never let anyone in. You have a shitload of people that love the fuck out of you. So many that I don't think you even see it because your head is so totally consumed in the "Jess thing". I'm not in your head. I don't hear what you and Jess talk about. I know that you love her. I knew it even before you ever told me that you cared about her. I am a whole hell of a lot more clued in to who you are (and so are your friends by the way) and your life then you think. I like Jess. I like her a hell of a lot, but if it isn't working, give it up. At least for a while. You are (in a tensed up, back the fuck off kinda way) just a scared little kid inside. We all are, and it doesn't matter how old you get. The little kid in your head never goes away, you just get better at hiding the little fucker. You don't let people in because it hurts when they shit on you or say things to hurt you and send your heart into tailspins. Well guess what kid. Welcome to the real world. It happens everyday. I kind of hate to quote Judge Judy, but "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it". If you are not emotionally stable enough to deal with the ups and downs that a relationship with her means, and take a strong stand on it, then how can you be emotionally stable enough to say that you can promise a lifetime to her. The same goes for her. You both need to see that this is just not the right time in your lives to be together. If what you have is meant to last, it'll be there when the time is right. If it isn't, you will get over it in time. Like to hear it or not, thats how it is.
QQ, I love all of you. You make me laugh like hell even when you don't know it. You reassure me that whether or not I have rare moments of privacy, they won't last because three more kids is just what I needed to eat up all that extra time that I have. Cathy and Stamer, your timing is impeccable. Your visits when no one else is around are too fucking priceless for words. Jessica, if you could find it in your schedule, you might think about stopping by with them.
Ally and Vince, I'll be here whenever you need me. Remember this you two. Parents do the best they can with what they have. Right or wrong, good or bad, the head trips that a lifetime can give you are all there when your kids get older. They don't understand you anymore than you understand them.
And all of you knew I couldn't end this without a momism. If you want us (parents) to understand you and know you better, then try knowing us better. We have scared little fucking kids in our heads too. They scream day and night sometimes telling us we are fucking up. Once in a great fucking while, let us know you're generally okay.
Mom out
@ |1:57 PM|