Life happens despite what you plan

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Quick decisions? Meee??
A friend of mine brought it to my attention that I make quick decisions. When I told this friend how fast Dave and I got married after we met, I was told, "Kinda quick don't you think? Why doesn't that surprise me coming from you?" I guess my friend was right. I make decisions way too quickly. I think only when it comes to relationships though.

My first marriage, I knew was wrong from the start. I went ahead with it anyway. This did a disservice to my children and myself. For the rocky start and crazy beginning that they had, I truly, from the bottom of my heart, apologize to them. But, hey, look what great things I reaped from that decision. Without even having to say so, Nicole and Melissa. These two, in my opinion, are two of the best things that ever happened to me. They kept me grounded during a time in my life that was, to put it mildly, incredibly chaotic. I would have definitely gone off the deep end mentally, and on the morality scale I'm sure, had I not had them. They taught me what truly unconditional love is all about. Also, because of that marriage, I am stronger (That which does not kill us makes us stronger). I was SUCH a very young girl in my heart back then. Not much cynicism had set in yet. Because of the events of that marriage, the rose colored "Life" glasses definitely became a little darker. I grew up a lot because of that marriage.

The decision to marry Dave, now THAT was a crazy fast one. Even through all that has happened to us, I still, however, believe it was the right one. We are happy together. As happy as any married couple who never spends any time together could be. There are things about us that need to be worked on. There are things about us that are not perfect. But a very wise old broad once told me,"You will never find someone that is absolutely EVERYTHING that you want. Find the person that pisses you off the least and work on it from there."Theresa and Adam, not much needs to be said here. These two again were a source of "home" for me. Theresa and her health problems, taught me how strong of a person I really am. I learned more about what I was capable of during her illness then at any other time in my life. Adam and his smile have a way of worming right into my heart and showing me that there is always more love in my heart then I ever seem to believe is there. In retrospect, even knowing what I know now, I still would have made the "Dave" decision the same way. The good FAR outweighed any of the bad here.

I have had many people that I considered friends hurt me. I suppose, again, that I made the decision to trust them and call them a friend too quickly. I gave a huge amount of myself to these people, and several times been stabbed in the back or emotionally torn because of it. With these behind me, I have become more guarded in who I call a friend and what information that I let others know about me. I have very few TRUE friends. The next time I think of calling someone my friend, I will wait a few months. Then, if I still feel the same way, I will wait a few more. THEN.... maybe.

Sooooo, what has Laura learned from this (spoken just like Mr Kane, my fifth grade english teacher)?? I have learned that decision making when it comes to trusting people is not one of my strong points. I have learned that when it comes to people, I need to take my time, not rush. Any relationship, friend, family, coworker, etc., if it is to last and bring you more joy then grief, takes time and care. Season that with a whole lot of laughter, humility, giving and a guarded but open heart, and you could be on to something.

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Now don't any of you freak out (Dave), these are just quotes that came to mind.

**"Next time I fall in love, I'll know better what to do." - Chicago

**"To love and have lost is better then to never have loved at all"

**"If the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, then you

are spending too much time looking at your neighbors lawn and not enough

time caring for your own!" - Mary Kiczula (The greatest lady I ever knew)

**"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." - Albert Einstein

**"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Theodore Roosevelt

**"The significant problems that we face cannot be solved at the same level of

thinking we were at when they were created" - Albert Einstein

**"It doesn't matter, it's in the past" - Rafiqi, from The Lion King

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Mom out
@ |11:55 AM|